December 1, 1985. Not just your average day in New York State. It was the date in which the legal drinking age was raised from 19 to 21 years. I wonder if any of these Miller Lite girls are even over 21. Or can even count to 21. (I guess that doesn’t really matter.)

Patrick Kane staying classy...
More than a decade later, 20 year old Patrick Kane, either too drunk or too stupid to know better, gets in a fight with a 62 year old cab driver over what most would consider to be pocket change. In Buffalo.
What is there to do in Buffalo? Well, not a heck of a lot. How much trouble can you possible get into? Unless this is your hometown (which it was for Kane), you play for an NHL club with a bright future (even if you count the signing of Marian Hossa), you earn the league maximum for rookies ($875K, plus potential bonuses), you are on the cover of EA Sports NHL 2010.

NHL 2010 with Patrick Kane
And you have the judgment and temper of a Mike Tyson looking to turn Holyfield into his own all-you-can-eat buffet. Continuing with my Roenick quotes, JR recently told ESPN when asked about Kane: ”I think at that time of the morning he’s got to be responsible for where he is, what he’s doing and what he’s doing to get home. I really think it’s an unfortunate situation.”
(I love how sound bites always have the word “unfortunate” or “regrettable” when they really mean “STUPID”)
Nothing can be stupider than making headlines for yourself in August, at a time when NOTHING is happening in the NHL.
What else should Kane have been doing? Sleeping might have brought better
Karma.
Check out his profile, and you’ll learn that his favorite meal is “steak and mashed potatoes” and his preferred ice cream flavor is “vanilla with chocolate sauce”.
I wonder if they serve that in prison?
Don’t hold your breath. The lawyers will plead this out and it will be settled before the puck drops on the new season. He’ll do community service by cleaning up some neighborhood park of empty Coors Light bottles, and after a 35 goal season in 2009-10, all will be forgotten. I mean forgiven.
Kane — look by “classy” in the dictionary. You might learn something.
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