We exchanged a couple of e-mails over the course of two hours, tossing back and forth lists of interests and the like. She made it clear that she wanted to meet up, and while she talked about starting slow, it was clear that it would indeed be a casual encounter. But when I suggested a time to meet — the last message from me before I would reveal myself and back out — there was no reply. At least, not yet. The next day, she e-mailed me saying she was deeply apologetic and that she'd fallen asleep.
She said she'd like to meet up sometime. So yes, there are women on Craigslist. Well, at least one! You've probably guessed by now that the experiences for heterosexual men and women on Craigslist's casual encounters are quite different. I observed that for every ad a woman posts, there are at least 20 from men.
If nothing else, that imbalance ought to alter the experience. To get the female perspective, I did two things: I posted a fake ad as a woman to see what kinds of responses I would get, and I interviewed two women who have had success hooking up on casual encounters in the past. As for potential suitors, I asked only that they supply a photo and "be attractive and not creepy. There was a five minute delay before my ad appeared, then I started receiving about one response per minute.
Most of them were careful to say "I don't do this often. Some sent pictures of themselves naked along with the word "Hi. There were a lot of expressions of sympathy over my fake breakup. I was hearing from men of all types, and it seemed I had my pick of the litter. After about thirty minutes, though, my post was flagged for removal. I thought I'd made it look legit, but as we learned earlier, folks have good reason to be hawkish about scammers.
After the end of my test run with Craigslist casual encounters, I decided to get more insight into the female experience with the site by interviewing two women who said they had successes meeting up with men on Casual Encounters. Their problem was the opposite of mine. They had too many options to pick from, but they both dealt with the numerous choices in the same way. Both women ultimately responded to men who they felt put effort into writing long, personal messages as opposed to quick notes.
Multiple paragraphs of insightful and relatable prose won out — but only after the initial test of physical appearance. Both said they immediately eliminated men who opened with pictures of genitalia — a very common practice. However, looks were important. One of the women I interviewed said she once had a crush on a client at her job, but couldn't make a move without compromising her professionalism.
However, she was looking through Casual Encounters and saw an ad from a man, and she recognized his writing style — it was her old client! She sent him a message to see if it was him, asking a question only he would be able to answer. He proved his identity and they ended up hooking up.
One of the women said she would go to Casual Encounters when she was looking for a very specific sexual experience — something you can't always count on from a one night stand that starts at a club or bar. The other said her reasons could be summed up as "curiosity, boredom, and convenience.
The trick is to keep an open mind and not have any real expectations. At the very least, it's mildly entertaining. After all this exploration, I'll say that Craigslist casual encounters is a place where people go to find very specific things from each other that they might not be able to conveniently locate in the real world. Some of those things are very alternative.
It's a last, best hope for some people who are looking to make a personal connection, but it's full of spam, unwanted attention, crime, and, well You might not find what you're looking for, but you're sure to find something interesting regardless.
Image courtesy of iStockphoto , nights , geotrac. Samuel Axon is a digital content producer in New York City. He has worked as an editor at Engadget, Mashable and the Joystiq network, and currently leads content strategy as Editorial Director at Sprout Social.
We're using cookies to improve your experience. Click Here to find out more. Entertainment Like Follow Follow. The Experiment I began with a listing announcing myself to the women of my city. Barking Up the Wrong Tree All the responses I got from real people on my first day weren't from women — they were from men.
But where were they? I was only getting messages from gay or bisexual men! An Army of Scammers Over the next couple of days, I actually received a lot of posts from women.
Taking Initiative What little luck I'd had so far. The Other Perspective, Part 1: My Fake Female Ad You've probably guessed by now that the experiences for heterosexual men and women on Craigslist's casual encounters are quite different. The Other Perspective, Part 2: Interviews With Craigslist Women After the end of my test run with Craigslist casual encounters, I decided to get more insight into the female experience with the site by interviewing two women who said they had successes meeting up with men on Casual Encounters.
Put another way, Craigslist casual encounters is a sexual microcosm of the rest of the Internet. Straight people have it way easier than us gay people in most respects. You can get married, aren't hated by religious nutjobs and your days all probably end a lot sooner than ours do. Homegirl on the left can do a lot better than that. However, when it comes to getting casual online sexual hook ups, we have it SO much easier than you or, since this is all about craigslist, I'll just say Str8s, to keep with the lingo.
Women by and large just don't go looking for casual sex like men do, most likely because they can, for the most part, get it on the street fairly easily if they're looking for a man. So while there is a section for Women Seeking Men W4M , even for a casual encounter they are likely expecting dinner and drinks first, and the appearance of respectability.
Also, most women posting on casual encounters are A: Girls operating webcams they expect you to pay for aka spam. The reason so many str8 men indulge their bi-curiosity which you will come to learn and learn well throughout this piece on Craigslist is that they simply get fed up looking for women only to get scammed over and over again. Most posts by men under M4W go ignored or are only answered by the previously mentioned hookers and webcam girls, and sometimes the occasional horribly unfortunate-looking real woman looking for a casual good time.
And yet, you always have to send them pics first. I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but most women actually looking for sex on Craigslist from everyone I know who's actually met up with one really aren't the type to socialize beyond a certain point or even know to look or groom past a certain I'm not saying it is impossible to meet an attractive woman on CL, I suppose if you keep trying it'll eventually happen.
But same goes with meeting anyone you'll find attractive in pretty much any situation. We live in an age of abbreviated words and phrases, mostly due to the wonderful world of the internet, which is still something "new", I don't care how many of you kids grew up with it.
Anyway, no place on earth exemplifies this culture of abbreviation more than the Craigslist personals section, or the "Casual Encounters" section. There are several CL shorthand terms, but I'd say these are some of the essentials. DDF means "drug and disease free" this is big in M4M encounters. Oh, M4M is Men for Men btw..
Prostitutes numbers casual meets17 Apr Craigslist's Casual Encounters listings are a major hub, offering to do for The ads range from prim to raunchy; a good number of people include legions of prostitutes and spammers who threaten to take over the Casual. 15 Dec Users of a Dublin-based casual-sex website describe their motives and Some submit phone numbers and intimate images; others offer money something and, initially, most responses were from either prostitutes or men. C. posts that have an embedded phone number are basically prostitutes, for the most part, but you have to be concerned that these people.
I'm not saying it is impossible to meet an attractive woman on CL, I suppose if you keep trying it'll eventually happen.
But same goes with meeting anyone you'll find attractive in pretty much any situation. We live in an age of abbreviated words and phrases, mostly due to the wonderful world of the internet, which is still something "new", I don't care how many of you kids grew up with it. Anyway, no place on earth exemplifies this culture of abbreviation more than the Craigslist personals section, or the "Casual Encounters" section.
There are several CL shorthand terms, but I'd say these are some of the essentials. DDF means "drug and disease free" this is big in M4M encounters. Oh, M4M is Men for Men btw. You do know what btw is though right?? After you know the lingo it's really just about making a post , including an image and waiting for fish to bite. Having a picture on there is really important, as a lot of people filter out the submissions without photos.
Much dumber people than you and I have figured out how to do this, so I'm going to focus on how not to make horrible mistakes while using this Starting with the people to avoid at all costs PNP , in craigslist parlance, stands for "party 'n play" which stands for sex while high on drugs. While PNP could technically refer to marijuana, the average stoner will usually just say " Friendly" instead.
And as twitchy and annoying as they can be For someone like me who hates quickies, I suppose that can come in handy. But that kind of weirdly numb stamina can also be detrimental.
Also, anyone looking for "Tina" or wanting to party with "Tina" -that's just another word for meth. Whenever you see an ad on craigslist advertising someone looking for "generous men" or just "gen," it can only mean one thing: Engaging with these people seems very counter productive at best and dangerous at the worse. Nice to look at, but overwhelmingly not actual photos of a woman you are going to engage with. My advice to guys on this site is to guard your identity with every click.
Every time you send a photo of yourself or your phone number or your real email address, think about this: Would you want that phone number used as tool to recreate your identity? Do you want some hacker busting in to your email account? Seems to me we need the "real" women here to implement a special code to use in their ads, something that we can simply use in search to help. We can make this a safer environment, if we all work together!
I have used it in the past and will just not send phone info I am busy, give me yours and I will call you in a few or photo I have decoy pics and will not send it to the CL address, onlly to a real address. I've messed with men posting an ad as well, to see what's out there in terms of competition.
I was 'impressed' at how little info men want to give, bad pics, short emails, they want to call you, they can not 'hosts' huh? So yes, men are protecting themselves but in a slightly different way than what you and I would consider. CL is bottom feeding of dating, but it works well for specific fetishes. I have standard email replies written up so i can communicate the first 3 emails without much effort and time. CL does work, you need to be careful and invest some upfront time. All of this should begin to stand out to anyone who's spent a handful of nights or more exploring casual encounters.
A couple things that weren't mentioned that should be are;. Create an entirely new email for your CL late night freak business. This keeps your actual email clean and protected. As far as the "real" women implementing a new code.. The real code is to describe something, some place about the city you're advertising in that only a local who's lived there would know. I list something to the effect of "The mayfair district is home to many folks who live an alternative lifestyle.
The north mall sees it's share of snobs. This should help you to validate my authenticity as a real and local person" Something everyone local can relate to and recognize, landmarks or common opinions of the towns people "The causeway maintenance is a joke right now, when is this project going to be completed?
Submit a new link. Submit a new text post. Do not extend payment to anyone you have not met in person. Beware offers involving shipping - deal with locals you can meet in person. Never wire funds e. Western Union - anyone who asks you to is a scammer. Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet. Become a Redditor and subscribe to one of thousands of communities. Most of the posts here are generated by individuals men and women who are promoting a few basic things: