We exchanged a couple of e-mails over the course of two hours, tossing back and forth lists of interests and the like. She made it clear that she wanted to meet up, and while she talked about starting slow, it was clear that it would indeed be a casual encounter. But when I suggested a time to meet — the last message from me before I would reveal myself and back out — there was no reply. At least, not yet. The next day, she e-mailed me saying she was deeply apologetic and that she'd fallen asleep.
She said she'd like to meet up sometime. So yes, there are women on Craigslist. Well, at least one! You've probably guessed by now that the experiences for heterosexual men and women on Craigslist's casual encounters are quite different.
I observed that for every ad a woman posts, there are at least 20 from men. If nothing else, that imbalance ought to alter the experience. To get the female perspective, I did two things: I posted a fake ad as a woman to see what kinds of responses I would get, and I interviewed two women who have had success hooking up on casual encounters in the past.
As for potential suitors, I asked only that they supply a photo and "be attractive and not creepy. There was a five minute delay before my ad appeared, then I started receiving about one response per minute. Most of them were careful to say "I don't do this often. Some sent pictures of themselves naked along with the word "Hi. There were a lot of expressions of sympathy over my fake breakup. I was hearing from men of all types, and it seemed I had my pick of the litter. After about thirty minutes, though, my post was flagged for removal.
I thought I'd made it look legit, but as we learned earlier, folks have good reason to be hawkish about scammers. After the end of my test run with Craigslist casual encounters, I decided to get more insight into the female experience with the site by interviewing two women who said they had successes meeting up with men on Casual Encounters.
Their problem was the opposite of mine. They had too many options to pick from, but they both dealt with the numerous choices in the same way. Both women ultimately responded to men who they felt put effort into writing long, personal messages as opposed to quick notes.
Multiple paragraphs of insightful and relatable prose won out — but only after the initial test of physical appearance. Both said they immediately eliminated men who opened with pictures of genitalia — a very common practice. However, looks were important. One of the women I interviewed said she once had a crush on a client at her job, but couldn't make a move without compromising her professionalism.
However, she was looking through Casual Encounters and saw an ad from a man, and she recognized his writing style — it was her old client! She sent him a message to see if it was him, asking a question only he would be able to answer.
He proved his identity and they ended up hooking up. One of the women said she would go to Casual Encounters when she was looking for a very specific sexual experience — something you can't always count on from a one night stand that starts at a club or bar. The other said her reasons could be summed up as "curiosity, boredom, and convenience. The trick is to keep an open mind and not have any real expectations. At the very least, it's mildly entertaining.
After all this exploration, I'll say that Craigslist casual encounters is a place where people go to find very specific things from each other that they might not be able to conveniently locate in the real world. Some of those things are very alternative. It's a last, best hope for some people who are looking to make a personal connection, but it's full of spam, unwanted attention, crime, and, well You might not find what you're looking for, but you're sure to find something interesting regardless.
Image courtesy of iStockphoto , nights , geotrac. Samuel Axon is a digital content producer in New York City. He has worked as an editor at Engadget, Mashable and the Joystiq network, and currently leads content strategy as Editorial Director at Sprout Social.
We're using cookies to improve your experience. Click Here to find out more. Entertainment Like Follow Follow. The Experiment I began with a listing announcing myself to the women of my city. Barking Up the Wrong Tree All the responses I got from real people on my first day weren't from women — they were from men. But where were they? I was only getting messages from gay or bisexual men! An Army of Scammers Over the next couple of days, I actually received a lot of posts from women.
Taking Initiative What little luck I'd had so far. The Other Perspective, Part 1: My Fake Female Ad You've probably guessed by now that the experiences for heterosexual men and women on Craigslist's casual encounters are quite different. The Other Perspective, Part 2: Interviews With Craigslist Women After the end of my test run with Craigslist casual encounters, I decided to get more insight into the female experience with the site by interviewing two women who said they had successes meeting up with men on Casual Encounters.
Put another way, Craigslist casual encounters is a sexual microcosm of the rest of the Internet. But like you said it's definitely hit or miss. One time when I made an ad I had a guy marine who responded to me and we got along really well and were super attracted to each other. We had time conflicts traveling so we talked for a month before meeting up in person. Our chemistry was off the fucking wall, we didn't end up having sex but even just fooling around I could tell he would've been great in bed.
He has since deployed and will be gone for 2 years. But that's very difficult to find that type of chemistry so don't rely on craigslist to find an attraction that strong. Although for another example, I made an ad today and I couldn't have sex with the guy today time didn't permit , he drove to my house and I went outside to give him a blowjob in his car.
He was pretty satisfied and hopefully he'll hit me up soon for sex. He was pretty hot and smelled good despite just coming back from the gym LOL. Lots and lots of fake posts but I did get responses from real women, from there I met up with the most attractive one.
She had a huge cum fetish and I was really horny at the time so yea It was pretty fun, she basically had me visit her office after hours and then gave me 2 blowjobs and swallowed all my cum while playing with herself to get off. It was my first time being with someone so enthusiastic about oral and really good at it and my first time being deepthroated or titfucked by a woman with large breasts. Yeah plenty of times, but it's very hit and miss.
Most of the guys I've met were kinda meh, but three guys in particular were amazing. All were marines and really great fucks. You're definitely going to meet some sketchy people on there, so use protection even if they say they're clean. Also very dishonest people as well, one of the guys I was with was married with a newborn and I have no idea how he got "permission" to stay the night in a hotel with me. Also you'll encounter a lot of fake people on there who will lead you on and flake on you.
If anything ask for their kik and ask them to take pictures on the Camera app, so you know they're not using fake photos. Or use an app like Skout or Tinder. For a male i found it to be all pro's or scams. I posted an ad for NSA sex. I received over replies. Most were just cock pics, with a message that read, "hey, baby" and that was the extent of the communication.
Only about 10 of them complied with my request to put their favorite drink in the subject line. One hour after I posted I had received one death threat and three different messages calling me names for not responding. I chose a guy who wrote a real message. There was punctuation in it! My hope had been to find a hook-up for that weekend, but after many creepy messages, I slowed down. I chose a guy who had made me laugh. We talked for about a week everyday and then met for coffee.
He was hot and funny and it was on! We would meet up randomly, whenever we could manage. Mediocre conversation, but I wasn't shopping for conversation. As a female, it was a bit scary.
A lesson in caution, I think. I have since searched a couple of times on Craigslist for NSA sex. Once I was stood up by the same guy three times.
The other time was much like my first experience: For women it's really easy. You have a shit ton of guys send you responses Sometimes I have the same really ugly dudes try to respond to my ad at different times and it's kind of infuriating. Some also will just do it for the sake of trolling if you post your ad with photos or have too many specific requirements. I didn't believe the latter part at first but after having people reply to my e-mails and tell me I'm "fake" or a "whore" or "flagging just for laughs", it happens a lot more.
It's pretty discouraging for real women who want to use craigslist. Also forgot to mention about another guy who I met who was an incredible find on craigslist. I was working in Hong Kong and this guy was an Australian expat who was a few years older than me.
We both met with no expectations of anything happening and we got along very well throughout our drinks so we ended up back at his place and had a very hot and passionate night of incredible sex. He was cute and average, but man was he great at sex! I'm a girl, started to post ads on CL a couple of month back new year, new adventures yea?
Did not know what got into me and did not know where I found the courage to post such thing. Was brought up and hang out within a semi-conservative community, so essentially casual hook up is frowned upon. One day I was thinking what the heck, let's do this. My first encounter was meh. Second time with a different guy was nice actually, he was shy but friendly, had a good time but never met again.
Third time was boring. Fourth time was with an army just got back from Afghanistan. Was bad cause he came too quick. Finally fifth time was a charm, the guy was nice, had a nice home, and was really good with his tongue. Ultimately, the sixth guy that I met on CL was my favorite so far. He is much, much older than me, about 20 years older. He is single, have a nice job, nice car nice place. We watched movie at his home and had sex, and in the morning he even made me breakfast.
So, basically, it's a trial and error process. You might meet someone you have chemistry with, or someone blergh. I say "current" like I've had one before, but that's not the case. Anyhoo, I was browsing my city's CL, replying to the ones I found interesting, just to throw as many hooks into the water as possible, basically.
Hers was called something like "Cougar looking for a cub ," and I wrote her asking if 32 was too far out of the age range she was looking for. It obviously should have been, but she replied that it wasn't out of her range, but that at 32 herself she might not fulfill the cougar fantasy I was looking for.
I didn't have a cougar fantasy, exactly, I was just looking for sex, or so I thought. We exchanged plenty of emails and got to know each other before we met in person.
It turned out that what we both seem to have been looking for was a friend that we could fuck. We both thought we just wanted sex, but neither one of us really has that many friends in town, so a FWB-type relationship works out really well for us. We've had really great chemistry, sexual and otherwise, up to this point. Point of my rambling story being that it is certainly possible to meet up with someone over CL's Casual Encounters.
I wouldn't have thought so myself, until it finally worked out for me. If I may assume that you're a male looking for a female partner, just be prepared to deal with a LOT of them not working out.
Be as clear as possible about what you want from the beginning, and keep at it. Is 32 "cougar" now? Maybe "puma" or "leopard", but I thought 40 was the "cougar" demarcation I had no idea actually I was anticipating that she'd be in her 40s just based on my preconceived notions of what a "cougar" was, but I suppose I'm not up-to-speed on the finer points of the lingo. She apparently isn't either. Ask me if I care: Puma is a women in her Cougar is Jaguar is So technically her add should of read "Puma looking for a cub ".
My now girlfriend started as a casual encounter 8 months ago, I've never been happier! Not a guarenteed outcome though! I put the ad up, sayin it was my birthday, it wasnt, haha but she hit me up and i told her it was kinda a joke, but i was single and it was a friday, so i asked if she wanted to meetup, and she was down!
So i showed up, expecting to go to a bar or club or something, also kind of expecting a dude or ugly girl, but she was exactly what she said she was, a cute little asian girl, and she asked if i wanted to go to an arcade to kill some zombies before we went out drinking. I was hella down, and it was a great very chill night, we ended up back at her place, had sex all night, and i slept over. In the morning we had more sex, and i left at like 1.
She texted me that she had a great time and i asked if she wanted to do it again sometime.