Archive for the ‘Hockey Rants’ category

Wait… What about a glowing puck?

August 7th, 2010

Now that the teams are starting to gear up for the start of the next NHL season (thank God – I don’t know how many more replays of home runs I can stand watching on SportsCentre… yawn), there are an interesting few days of rule experimentation coming up August 18th and 19th in Toronto.

A few of the more interesting ones:

  • Overtime with 3 minutes of 4 on 4, followed by 3 minutes of 3 on 3, then 3 minutes of 2 on 2, then a shootout.
    - Hey, why stop there? Go all the way with another 3 minutes of 1 on 1 before the shootout. This sounds more like my pickup hockey games in the summer when our turnout numbers dwindle due to vacations.
  • No icing the puck while shorthanded.
    - Uh…what? This will lead to a whole bunch of players trying to figure out how to lob the puck over defencemen’s heads and into the neutral zone.
  • After a face-off violation, opposition center may choose his face-off opponent.
    - This almost feels like bullying, or picking on the smallest kid in school.

It seems strange that the NHL tinkers with its rules every year. I just don’t get it. Is the game really that bad? Do we really need rule changes? It amazes me why the NHL does this to OUR game. Other professional sports don’t goof around this much with their rules. Can you imagine the uproar if Major League Baseball changed rules as often?

Stay classy, hockey fans.

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Cannot support Stan

June 11th, 2010

Think back to a time in your life when someone or something offended you. Perhaps a time involving family or a particular incident. Or that time when Darryl Sutter said he knew what he was doing. Or maybe someone insinuating Stan Bowman was the primary architect of the Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup win a few days ago.

Moments after the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup (which was moments after we all figured Kane’s goal was actually a goal), a certain Canadian Broadcast Company (shall remain nameless) introduced Stan Bowman as the man who built the Chicago Blackhawks and credited him as the mastermind behind their prominent rise to glory in an interview lead in.

I was offended and got emotional – I was Jeremy Roenick without the tears. Maybe it was just a slip up in the broadcast. But the point is valid: “General Manager: Stan Bowman” will be engraved on the Stanley Cup some time this summer. Well, after someone’s kid poops in it. Dear God I hope Patrick Kane makes good on his word to “keep his shirt on!”

Virtually everyone on Earth knows Dale Tallon did the lionshare of work to build the newly crowned Stanley Cup Champions. But I don’t need to tell you what you already know. The only thing Stan Bowman did to alter Tallon’s 2010 blueprint was trade Cam Barker to Minnesota for Kim Johnsson and prospect Nick Leddy. If anything this salary cap related trade probably weakened the Hawks. Johnsson played only eight games with Chicago before suffering a concussion back in March.

My brother said it best after I calmed down from my tantrum on Wednesday, “Stan Bowman stick handled around some minor salary cap issues this year.” True but nothing will compare to this summer as Bowman tries to rebuild another Cup-caliber team for next season and beyond. The Blackhawks have at least nine key players to resign with less than $4 Million of cap space (approximately). [Figures based on info from CapGeek.com and NHLNumbers.com].

Not with me? How about an analogy to clear things up… Stan Bowman basically stick handled around a Philadelphia Flyers goalie. In dealing with the major cap issues this summer, it’s the equivalent to stick handling around … well, any other NHL goalie. Good luck! I’ll eat my words if Stan Bowman can get his team back to the Stanley Cup Finals next year. Making it back to the Finals next season would earn him that engraving he’ll get from this season’s win. Until then the Stanley Cup’s spelling of  Tallon — “B-O-W-M-A-N” — isn’t quite right.

Stay classy, Stan Bowman. You still get your name on the Stanley Cup.

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Some overdue NHL rants

June 1st, 2010

It’s a bit of a strange time in the hockey season. While we’re seeing the biggest games of the year being played this week, there isn’t much else going on. But despite this — and the mind-numbing debates on Chris Pronger’s puck stealing “incidents” — there’s still plenty of things that have me all hot and bothered…

  • I don’t know if I’m angry or impressed with Daniel Carcillo’s ability to get so wound up for any/every hockey game he plays in. Within seconds of a game starting, he’s already lost his mind worse than that epic Jim Playfair meltdown earlier this year. It’s double points if I dis Carcillo and rehash that coaching freak-out, right?
  • Last week’s NHL Combine in Toronto made me laugh. Hockey players don’t generally give very good interviews. To further my point, Jason Spezza is an experienced hockey interviewee and look what you get with him. TSN putting a microphone in front of an 18 year old Cam Fowler minutes after completing the excruciating VO2 max test was a hilariously bad idea. Interview fail?
  • “It’s mad in the Madhouse”…
  • Today the six-time Norris trophy winner and 40 year old Nick Lidstrom signed a one year-$6 Million contract extension with the Detroit Red Wings. That’s exactly $1 Million more than what 27 year old Anton Volchenkov (reportedly) wants for five or more seasons. Since you already know my views on Volchenkov’s (reported) salary demands, I thought it would be fun to look at other things you could buy for $5 Million:
    • One year of Stanley Cup winner Marc-Andre Fleury’s current contract
    • Half of the rights to Sidney Crosby’s new Reebok endorsement for the next seven years
    • This house (complete with 11 bedrooms, six bathrooms and nearly 9,000 square feet in Vancouver – a perfect hiding place for Senators to stash Alex Kovalev)
    • Like, 1/150th of that ridiculous Phoenix Coyotes Arena lease (according to the ever-reliable Yahoo answers…)
    • More than two Brent Sopel’s (current salary cap hit: $2.33 Million)
    • Half of the Atlanta Thrashers Hockey Club/Don Waddell’s Poor Decisions Ltd. (Probably).
  • Thinking about it, I’d pay a 50 year old Nick Lidstrom $5 Million per season before doing the same for a 27 year old Volchenkov. OK, I’m done ranting about Volchenkov… for today.
    • … “It’s mad in the Madhouse”…
    • How awkward/hilarious was Marian Hossa’s goal celebration last night? Yikes… can you image how awkward/hilarious it’s going to be when he finally lifts up the Stanley Cup? Actually, that’s going to be must-see TV!
    • Not hockey related but check out this article on Lebron James. James says the Cavaliers have an “edge” in trying to resign him because of his history and personal connection to the city of Cleveland. As sports fans, we’re all stupid for allowing athletes to get away with saying stupid crap like this. What the hell…
    • … “It’s mad in the Madhouse”… see Jim Hughson!!!! It get’s really annoying when you keep repeating it!

    Stay classy, NHL news that get me all hot and bothered.

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    Weighing in on Anton Volchenkov

    May 24th, 2010

    Amidst months worth of speculation it seems certain shot-blocker extraordinaire Anton Volchenkov is leaving Ottawa. And after months of my own personal speculation I’ve decided to weigh in on the “A-Train” situation. Finally.

    Whenever I do a piece on the Ottawa Senators I’m overcome with this vague sense of loyalty and familiarity – much like Glenn Sather is with the New York Rangers. On one hand I feel like I should know a great deal about the team, but on the other hand I really have no clue.

    Anton Volchenkov - Ottawa SenatorsIt’s well understood that the Senators would like to resign Volchenkov. But they can’t because the other very well known detail in this whole saga is the fact that Volchenkov wants a big pay raise – one the Senators cannot afford within the NHL’s salary cap.

    Ever since Montreal stunned the Washington Capitals in the Playoffs, it seems there’s a better chance of Volchenkov becoming a Capital on July 1st than the NHL ever saying “no” to NBC. And why not? The Caps have room in their player salary structure next season (I’m doing my best to avoid saying “the Caps have cap space”) and have finally figured out their trademark “run and gun” style doesn’t win Championships.

    There are a few things that I find insanely ridiculous about Volchenkov’s upcoming unrestricted free agency this summer. Especially when the majority of the interest is from Ottawa and Washington. Let’s assume the suggested asking price for Vochenkov is in fact $5 Million per season for anywhere between 4-6 years (as speculated by many media outlets all Spring).

    Why would either of these teams pay a defensive defenceman $5 Million annually when they don’t even pay their goalies that much? Last season Jose Theodore made $4.8 Million (and probably won’t be resigned this summer) and Pascal Leclaire made $3.6 Million (next season, he’ll make $4.8 Million – a cap hit of $3.8 Million). Last season the Capitals allowed 2,534 shots on net while the Senators allowed 2,333. How many blocked shots did Volchenkov have? 200-300?

    Volchenkov scores roughly 17-20 points per season and averages a plus-10 rating each year. Given his lack of offensive powerplay time and the fact that goals scored against while killing penalties don’t affect plus-minus ratings, being on the ice for 10 more goals than scored against isn’t exactly elite shutdown defencemen numbers.

    Fact: Volchenkov doesn’t necessarily do anything at an elite level. It’s insane to pay a defenceman that much money to do a bunch of things “pretty well”.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is Anton Volchenkov isn’t worth anywhere near $5 Million per season. He wouldn’t be the first overpaid UFA signing but I believe he could rank as one of the worst if he collects on the speculated contracts. Volchenkov is a solid NHL defencemen but not an elite $5 Million+ player on any team.

    Stay classy, Anton Volchenkov.

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    Choking on bullshit

    April 25th, 2010

    Following series clinching losses on Saturday night, the Colorado Avalanche and Ottawa Senators join the New Jersey Devils in 2010 Playoff disappointment. Apparently.

    Detractors of the Avalanche and Senators (mostly the Senators… Honestly, who hates the young, up-and-coming Avs?) say the Playoffs were busts for each club. Some have already claimed the Senators choked in this year’s Playoffs.

    Let’s pretend for a second that a Playoff series consists of more than a single game (or period). Let’s take a slightly more intelligent perspective on the Avalanche and Senators series. The opponents in each series – the Sharks and Penguins, respectively – are heavy favorites to play for the Stanley Cup in June. They are considered among the elite NHL teams.

    In the case of the Avs and Sens, it’s pretty impressive both teams qualified for the Playoffs. Virtually no one thought Colorado had any chance of being in the post-season. And only a few more of the ‘experts’ thought Ottawa would qualify for the Playoffs. That’s the difference between the Avs and Sens and the New Jersey Devils – a team with larger expectations and a team that should have gone farther than the 1st round.

    The Devils choked big time. Consider the blockbuster deal they pulled off to acquire star Ilya Kovalchuk in February. Consider the strong regular season they had and their series opponent, the Philadelphia Flyers. Consider the fact that expectations were higher for the Devils than they were for the Avalanche and Senators combined. And don’t forget last year’s 1st round meltdown against the Carolina Hurricanes. Neither Colorado or Ottawa even made the 2009 Playoffs.

    Exactly how can a team (or teams) and their Playoff elimination be considered a choke when they weren’t expected to make the post-season and ended up playing superior opponents? To me, it’s about realistic expectations. You can’t “choke” when you live up to expectations. Many didn’t expect the Avalanche or Senators to advance beyond the 1st round of the Playoffs. Most figured the Devils would be a 2nd or 3rd round team, or better.

    Excuse me for getting a little bent out of shape on this, but I’m choking on this bullshit.

    Stay classy, Avalanche and Senators. Neither team choked.

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    A rant because of headshots, but not about headshots

    March 8th, 2010

    Hey hockey fans, it’s Monday and I’m not in a very good mood. I saw the Matt Cooke-Marc Savard headshot and it was pretty bad, like all the other stupid hits we’ve seen recently. And because of Sunday’s headshot, I have a bit of a rant.

    Don’t worry – it’s not about headshots – I’m done ranting about those. And besides, there is a crack team of NHL GMs that includes a few former goons assigned to clean that up in Florida this week. Instead, I want to talk about the events that followed the hit. First of all, for those who haven’t seen Marc Savard eating Matt Cooke’s elbow, here’s the hit:

    Now, I watched Mike Milbury explain why this was a dirty hit on NBC. It was as painful as watching last night’s Oscars. It was inexplicably long and drawn out  (that’s what she said!!). For as much as Milbury said – and it was a lot – he didn’t get to why the hit was actually dirty. Allow me to break it down in a few words: Cooke extended his arm. Of course, parallel’s to Mike Richards hit on David Booth were drawn. But here’s the difference: Richards’ arm was tucked in and Cooke’s was not. It’s that simple, job done. Somehow, in a segment that was long enough for me to make a grilled cheese sandwich, burn it and think about making another one, Milbury didn’t really explain that. I was frustrated but laughed it off thinking the explanation was provided by a man who traded Zdeno Chara and Jason Spezza for Alexei Yashin (who is still on the Islanders books until the end of next season).

    I move on to Sportsnet thinking the quality and insight might be slightly better. Wrong. I get Daren Millard and Bill Watters tell me the exact same thing. Nearly word for word. I have to tell you, the level of hockey analysis was very concerning yesterday. It was like everyone was drinking the same stupid-koolaid. Or caught the same Cooke elbow.

    Here’s where my rant starts. Most of the “traditional hockey media” blast bloggers and fans because they aren’t true analysts who played the game. Remember, these guys are the experts! Most of these people will tell you blogs and online communities exist because of technology and the internet. And maybe too much free time. But I think it has more to do with the fact that hockey fans around the world are frustrated with terrible hockey analysts on TV and are seeking out coverage they want and value online or elsewhere. Anyone who watched Darren Pang and Pierre McGuire argue whether a player was left wing or center on TSN’s trade deadline coverage probably knows what I mean.

    On a daily basis, I find better discussions on forums. blogs and Twitter than I do on National TV broadcasts. Hockey has a great online community, but frankly, I’m not sure if that’s because of the great fans around the world or because of the dreadful coverage we all have to watch on a nightly basis.

    Stay classy, hockey analysts. Thank your lucky stars you still have jobs.

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    Olympic rant!

    February 25th, 2010

    The Men’s Olympic Hockey Semi-Finals are set to get underway on Friday after the Quarter-Finals wrapped up last night. I’m not going to review the stomping Canada laid on the Russians because I’m sure every other blog and web site has already touched on it. I’m not sure I can offer any new insight either. Evgeni Nabokov easily played the worst game of his career and the Russian forwards were dreadful in the neutral zone. Full marks to Canada for their effort though. They played one of the best first periods I’ve ever seen.

    Instead of game reviews today, I’m going to rant about some of the things that have really ticked me off over the last few days in the Olympics. Feel free to add yours below – I can’t be the only one with issues about the Olympics!

    • Luongo’s familiarity with Canada Hockey Place – I keep hearing TV analysts and people online citing Roberto Luongo’s familiarity with the ice, boards, etc… of Canada Hockey Place (or GM Place). I think that’s ridiculous. Do you have any idea how much work went into this arena prior to the Olympics? The glass isn’t the same glass used in Vancouver Canucks games. The boards have basically been rebuilt. The ice is getting chewed up faster than free desert at a Britney Spears dinner. Very little of Canada Hockey Place should be familiar to Luongo or any other Canuck. In fact, the only the thing that’s the same is the doorway to enter the building. Luongo is a great goalie and has been solid for Team Canada, but this isn’t one of the reasons why!
    • Christian Ehrhoff’s Team Canada Comments – Following Germany’s Quarter-Final loss to Canada, Christian Ehrhoff reportedly said he wasn’t very impressed with Team Canada. He went on to say “[The Russians] bring skill, but they also play very hard and physical. They have a great goalie and I think they have the complete package to pull it off here”. According to Chris Stevenson of Sun Meda, Ehrhoff agreed Canada isn’t yet at the level of team play the Russians and Americans have shown so far. Here’s my question: Was Ehrhoff watching the same tournament as the rest of us? The Russians didn’t look very impressive at any point in this tournament. Team USA looked extremely disjointed, prior to the great game they played against Canada. And Ehrhoff’s quotes came after the Germans were soundly beaten by Canada in a fairly dominant Canadian performance. Sounds like someone is bitter…
    • Skates in Faceoffs – As everyone knows, one of the subtle differences between international hockey and the NHL is rules about using skates on faceoffs. In the NHL, it’s perfectly fine. In international hockey, it’s not. Having said that, I can’t tell you how many faceoffs I’ve seen won with skates. In yesterday’s Quarter-Final games alone there were 4 or 5 instances. I don’t really care for the rule, personally, but rules are rules, right?
    • Evgeni Plushenko – OK, this one isn’t so much about hockey, but I found it hilarious. Following a great opening skate last week, the Russian Figure skater took a verbal jab at his competition saying “Without a quad it’s not men’s figure skating”. In other words, you aren’t a man if you aren’t pushing the figure skating boundaries. Uhh, Evgeni, you are still wearing tights, make up and glittery costumes that only Lady Gaga would wear… pretty sure that’s not considered “manly” either.
    • Another Pierre McGuire Quote – No international hockey tournament is complete without at least one eye rolling Pierre McGuire quote. This one was pulled from Tuesday’s Canada-Germany game when McGuire discussed the infamous “Luuuuu” chants for Roberto Luongo. During the telecast, McGuire said the following: “A lot of kids cry, they don’t understand why people are booing Luongo… that needs to be explained to a lot of people”. *Sigh*  Yeah, another great McGuire quote. When I heard him say this, I got the distinct feeling that millions of other hockey fans around the world were rolling their eyes just like I was. It was powerful! I anticipate more great quotes later this week given the size of his current Shea Weber man-crush.
    • Terrible Reffing – I didn’t think the Olympic refereeing would be more inconsistent than the NHL, but wow, it is! How wrong I was. It’s everything, too. From penalties called (hitting, interference, holding or tripping – like last night’s Marian Gaborik penalty), faceoffs and even stopping play when goalies are hit in the head with pucks. There’s been several times this tournament where the play has been blown down and I’ve been completely lost as to why.
    • Olympic Brackets – I realize this isn’t anyone’s fault, but prior to the Quarter-Final games yesterday, you could split the tournament brackets into two groups: top and bottom, with one team from each group making it to the Gold Medal game. The top brackets featured USA, Switzerland, Czech Republic and Finland while the bottom brackets featured Canada, Russia, Slovakia and Sweden. With all due respect to each Country/Team, the bottom bracket’s seemed way tougher. Than again, both Russia and Sweden looked pretty average all tournament… I’m completely confused why. This tournament has been weird…
    • 2010 Miracle on Ice – This one drive me crazy. When you look at the American Men’s Hockey team, it’s a solid NHL team. On paper, perhaps it lacks the big names Canada and Russia boast, but it’s a very strong hockey team. Calling this team the “2010 Miracle on Ice” or even making the comparison is downright insulting to the quality players on the team. Although Team USA wasn’t considered the top team in this tournament, their success so far is hardly a surprise. TV broadcasters need to stop with all the “Ryan Miller played well because Jim Craig was watching” nonsense. Ryan Miller played (and is playing) well because he’s one of the best goalies in the world. End of story!

    Stay classy, Olympic hockey.

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