Making sure Ondrej Pavelec is OK

October 12th, 2010 by Burgundy Leave a reply »

With all the concern around NHL players who’ve recently sustained serious concussions, players like Marc Savard and Ian Laperriere, it’s important the Atlanta Thrashers take their time with goalie Ondrej Pavelec.

Pavelec suffered a fainting spell during the Thrashers Friday night game against the Washington Capitals. As a result of fainting, Pavelec sustained a concussion too. Pavelec has since been released from the hospital, but he hasn’t been cleared to return to the ice.

I have no doubt the Thrashers will do the right thing and ensure Pavelec is 100% healthy before letting him play again. The Thrashers can’t be cautious enough, especially since no one fully understands the effects of brain injuries.

I’m not a doctor or anything, but I think there are several quick ways we can determine if Pavelec’s concussion is still troubling him.

Critical Thinking
Ask Pavelec to watch the TV show Lost. If the ending doesn’t make sense to him, he’s fine. If he claims the show makes sense, put him on the long term injury list and never let him play hockey again.

Spatial Reasoning
Ask Pavelec how many hockey players should dress for each NHL game. If his answer is closer to 18 than Lou Lamoriello’s answer of 15, we’ll know he’s well enough to manage the New Jersey Devils. If Pavelec’s answer is closer than Lamoriello’s, the Devils might want to make sure Lou hasn’t suffered any head injuries since… last year’s trade deadline.

Reactions
Give Pavelec a mild shove while standing up. If he does not respond with an oral sex gesture, everything is fine. If that is his response, he may need to seek further help and have a conversation with a man by the name of “Colon.”

Problem Solving
Ask Pavelec what Anaheim Ducks statistic is higher between penalty minutes and shots against. There is no right answer here, but if he says anything to the extent of “they’re screwed,” chances are he’s well on his way to recovery and could act as an advisor to Ducks GM Bob Murray.

Cognitive Skills
Ask Pavelec to list, in sequential order, the steps required to mail letters and important documents. Assuming he answers correctly, inform him that he is capable of managing the Chicago Blackhawks and the Florida Panthers.

Stay classy, Ondrej Pavelec. In all seriousness, best of luck with the recovery.

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2 comments

  1. jared says:

    That Colon/Colin line was pretty gross.. nice

  2. SensDew19 says:

    Another great piece! Only you can turn a scary sight into gold ;)

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