It’s a busy time in the hockey world. The NHL Entry Draft and the start of Unrestricted Free Agency are both days away and teams are actively trying to better their rosters in any and every way possible. This even includes making trades, something I’m not accustomed to after last year’s “trade deadline”.
For most teams it’s a very exciting time. For others it’s a time of hopelessness and despair. Here are some signs your hockey team might be in trouble:
- You recently traded for a player who once won a Stanley Cup for your franchise. Problem is he’s twice as old as your best player, Zach Parise.
- Glenn Sather is still employed by your organization.
- Your designated number one goalie for next season has averaged just 42 games played in each of his last five seasons.
- Your GM is heavily considering offering the league maximum salary to Lebron James.
- Recently Pierre McGuire was considered a finalist for your vacant GM position. I’m looking at you, Minnesota.
- Your head coach just stepped down to be a (another) team advisor. Between you, the braintrust of Kevin Lowe, Steve Tambellini, Mike Sillinger and others, you are one really old guy away from becoming the Toronto Maple Leafs.
- It’s been more than a full season since you last had a team Captain. Even the Leafs recently named a Captain!
- You resigned Matt Cooke to a 3-year contract extension.
- The core players of your franchise were the considered core players of your team before the lockout. I think one those core players might retire this summer too.
- Steven Stamkos’ 2010 Rocket Richard trophy win is probably the highlight of your team’s season, next season.
- It’s been almost a week since I last heard a ‘truculence/tough’ speech from Brian Burke.
- Doug Wilson, your General Manager, intends to follow the Flyers goaltending model by “not paying very much for it.” This should help you get closer to the Stanley Cup and finally not choking next season…
- You legitimately believe “he didn’t object to the fact that maybe it’s time – the way (he’s) been received – now maybe it’s time” makes any sense to anyone.
Stay classy, troubled NHL teams.