When it comes to my friends and I, we’re usually one drink away from a bad decision. Something Dion Phaneuf can probably relate to. So after an evening of cold ones and trying to one-up each others stupid bets, you know something regrettable is about to happen. It always works that way.
And because I’m writing about it, it’s obvious that this regrettable incident happened to me. In saying that, this story doesn’t have to be about me and only me. As you may have guessed from the title of today’s blog, this story also involves the Calgary Flames. Oh, and shaving chests. I can’t believe I didn’t mention that sooner.
Some back story you should know. I carried around a pretty hairy chest for a few years. Carried. Imagine George Parros’ mustache spanning from my neck down to my belly button with the tenacity of Daniel Alfredsson’s old curly blond locks. This picture should help fill the gaps.
Left- George Parros; right- Daniel Alfredsson
Last Saturday night my chest hair was shaved into an inverted arrow pointing downwards. Basically the arrow was all hair. And while it wasn’t some clever metaphor about the Flames decline over recent years, it very well could have been. Then last night the combination of the Flames losing against the Sharks and the Avalanche shootout win over the Canucks killed Calgary’s 2010 post-season hopes.
With the Flames officially eliminated from this year’s Stanley Cup playoffs, it means all aspects of the Flames organization should and will be thoroughly evaluated… much like my chest was once all the hair was shaved off on Saturday. In a weird and slightly disgusting way, the failed 2009-2010 season is the Flames version of a shaved chest. All the excess hair and noise can be trimmed, cropped and completely reduced to create a better foundation. Then with drafting, development and key free agent signings, a properly molded chest can grow and be cultivated. And this will take some time too. A full rebuild is needed in Calgary.
Personally, I’m glad the Flames missed the playoffs. It’s not that I don’t like the Flames. It’s that I don’t like the Sutters and I don’t believe they understand the new NHL. I believe they’ve made some very bad trades/acquisitions over the years. It’s possible the full organizational shuffle that might happen now that the Flames have missed the playoffs might not have happened if Calgary lucked their way into the final Western Conference playoff position. Again, I think that’s a good thing for the long term future of the Calgary Flames.
There isn’t a moral to this story. Come to think of it, this is more of an example of how stupid my friends and I are, more than a explanation behind a miserable Flames season. But hopefully for the sake of Flames fans you can take some comfort in knowing someone else did something even dumber than making bad trades, building a bad hockey team and missing the playoffs. Anyone up for a drink?
Stay classy, Calgary Flames.
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I’m sorry, but that was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time… Great night!
I suppose you can relate the Flames to chest hair or possibly back hair… you generally want to get rid of it for Summer, preferrably Spring, but it always seems to grow back and annoy the piss out of everyone by the first week of October. Then it’s just too cold outside to get rid of your natural sweater…
Vicious cycle…
LMAO Opiated Sherpa – Excellent comment.
For the record, Alfie is a ginger, not a blond!
Everybody always refers to his blond locks, and I don’t get it.
I’m a ginger – we recognize our own!
As for the blog, funny as shit, man!
Where does everyone think Iggy will end up? Or, conversely, DO you guys think the Flames will try to move him? I know he said he wants to stay, but the return for him could be too enticing for Sutter (if he’s still around) to pass up, no?
This was hilarious! Great blog! And that was a funny night too. I’m just sorry I missed the ribs.
@ Rob – Hilarious: “we recognize our own”. This post has generated some funny hair comments.
I think the Flames should trade Iginla to a team that’s a legitimate contender. Besides doing him that favor, he’s Calgary’s biggest asset and will fetch the best return. Other than Backlund and a few other semi-notable unproven names, the Flames don’t have much in the way of prospects and are getting older very quickly. I think the Sutter’s need to go. The very fact they traded for 5 Maple Leafs and expected to make the playoffs says how little they understand today’s NHL.
@ Fantana – Those ribs were delicious!!!