With the NHL trade deadline quickly approaching, teams are probably starting conversations with each other that will lay the foundation for trades we’ll see on or before March 3rd.
Whether it’s big name players or subtle character additions, deadline deals rarely pay off. To help GM’s make the best possible decisions, I thought’d I’d make a few NHL trade deadline recommendations:
- Atlanta should trade Ilya Kovalchuk to Toronto in exchange for approximately 19,000 fans who don’t care about winning.
- Keith Tkachuk, Bill Guerin, and Doug Weight are always available at trade deadlines. I think Mike Sillinger might be too.
- Remove any and all deadlines for trades with the Ottawa Senators and Bryan Murray. Unlimited trade time will allow Murray to continue blaming anyone/everyone else for the Sens poor performance.
- We should all continue to ask Brian Burke about Tomas Kaberle’s availability. Why? To provoke more Angry-Burke reactions, of course.
- San Jose should trade for a scape goat like Sean Avery or Alex Burrows immediately. That way, when they inevitably lose in the 1st round, they don’t have to blame Thornton or Heatley.
- Montreal should trade all their disappointing 1st round selections for other disappointing 1st rounders. It worked with Pouliot/Latendresse, right?
- The NHL should allow teams to trade GM’s and front office management. This way, Brian Burke could screw up every other Eastern Conference team to help the Leafs finally get in the playoffs.
- The NHL should encourage teams to place French-Canadian players on the trading block for the sake of the Montreal Canadiens. This way, Vinny Lecavalier’s name won’t be the only one rumoured for the Habs.
- Continue giving Eklund cryptic/vague ‘E5′ quotes like “The deal is imminent, pending another deal that could shake the very foundation of earth”.
Stay classy, NHL trade deadline.