So, in honour of me, and because there is very little hockey news right now, I interviewed myself. The following is the unabridged transcript of that interaction.
Question- Thanks for talking to yourself today. I am sure you really appreciate taking the time for yourself. So let’s get started. When did you first realize how awesome you were at talking about hockey?
Answer- Tough call, and thank you for the question by the way. I guess I knew how good I was when I won my first Stanley Cup in NHL 97. John Vanbiesbrook was on the cover.
Question- So your wit and intelligence transferred from playing NHL video games?
Answer- Not just that. I also learned how to make the sport better. I had two line passing turned off before it was cool. Can I also say that this is the same reason why Burgundy doesn’t understand interference penalties. Cause he always turns those off.
Question- Being as knowledgeable as you are, what do you think about the upcoming season?
Answer- You know, I think there are going to be some big surprises this year. I will go out on a limb and say that Marian Hossa will not win a Stanley Cup. Montreal will play the trap. Milan Lucic will not make the Olympic team. And that Toronto will not win a Stanley Cup either. They will however add further credence to my idea that they skate out of a garden waste bag for their team introduction.
Question- Talking about the Ottawa Senators for a bit, who do you think will be the biggest surprise?
Answer- I am going to say Peter Regin if he cracks the lineup. Look for him to play with Mike Fisher and provide some real excitement on the second-an-a-half line. Plus there will always be delicious pastries available, him being Danish and what not.
Question- I thought you previously posted that he was Dutch?
Answer- I did. And I was promptly corrected by an astute reader. First and last time that will happen.
Question- Where do you think Dany Heatley will play this year?
Question- Really? Well what did you think of that trade?
Answer- Loved it. Loved Cogliano and loved that Penner was coming too. Size, speed and power all wrapped up in a former Bryan Murray Draft Pick Bow (read- the same reason Burke drafted Kadri).
Question- Well thanks very much for talking to yourself today. Any closing thoughts?
Answer- Just that this took a lot longer than I thought. And that I hope people are still reading.