Taxicab driver gets Kane’d

August 11th, 2009 by Baxter Leave a reply »

December 1, 1985.  Not just your average day in New York State.  It was the date in which the legal drinking age was raised from 19 to 21 years.  I wonder if any of these Miller Lite girls are even over 21.  Or can even count to 21.  (I guess that doesn’t really matter.)


Patrick Kane staying classy...

Patrick Kane staying classy...

More than a decade later, 20 year old Patrick Kane, either too drunk or too stupid to know better, gets in a fight with a 62 year old cab driver over what most would consider to be pocket change.  In Buffalo.


What is there to do in Buffalo?  Well, not a heck of a lot.  How much trouble can you possible get into?  Unless this is your hometown (which it was for Kane), you play for an NHL club with a bright future (even if you count the signing of Marian Hossa), you earn the league maximum for rookies ($875K, plus potential bonuses), you are on the cover of EA Sports NHL 2010.



NHL 2010 with Patrick Kane

NHL 2010 with Patrick Kane


And you have the judgment and temper of a Mike Tyson looking to turn Holyfield into his own all-you-can-eat buffet.  Continuing with my Roenick quotes, JR recently told ESPN when asked about Kane:  ”I think at that time of the morning he’s got to be responsible for where he is, what he’s doing and what he’s doing to get home. I really think it’s an unfortunate situation.”


(I love how sound bites always have the word “unfortunate” or “regrettable” when they really mean “STUPID”)


Nothing can be stupider than making headlines for yourself in August, at a time when NOTHING is happening in the NHL.


What else should Kane have been doing?  Sleeping might have brought better Karma.


Check out his profile, and you’ll learn that his favorite meal is “steak and mashed potatoes” and his preferred ice cream flavor is “vanilla with chocolate sauce”.  I wonder if they serve that in prison?


Don’t hold your breath.  The lawyers will plead this out and it will be settled before the puck drops on the new season.  He’ll do community service by cleaning up some neighborhood park of empty Coors Light bottles, and after a 35 goal season in 2009-10, all will be forgotten.  I mean forgiven.


Kane — look by “classy” in the dictionary.  You might learn something.

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7 comments

  1. Sens19 says:

    I love all the jokes that are coming out now, it’s amazing how fans can turn incidents like this into comedy. Seriously though, for Kane to fight with a cab driver over 20 cents of changes, he HAD to be drunk. Because if he wasn’t than I really really thing this guy is just plain dumb AND stupid. Seriously though, I always thought the guy was immature but for him to bring that kind of attention to him and at the worst possible time ever is beyond describable. The Hawks may be forced to choose between him and Toews soon. With this antic of his I highly doubt they’d take 20 cent over the mature Captain Serious!

  2. If Patty Kane wasn’t drunk, I find that unfortunate on his part. I don’t know if stupid would be the right word. What’s worse than stupid?

  3. Burgundy says:

    Dim-witted? (according to Word)

  4. Even if Patrick Kane was drunk at the time, i don’t think that will help him if the cab driver presses charges

  5. Dig Dug says:

    Have you even ever been to Buffalo??

  6. Aric says:

    Dont see why he would do that. He can have whattever he wants but he is still my favorite player

  7. Burgundy says:

    Hey Richard, thanks for reading Stayclassy.

    I don’t get it either. Just doesn’t make sense, though I suspect there’s got to be more than the general public (like you and me) know.

    Great player! Though I think he won’t be in Chicago next season.

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