Stop the insanity!
Please, these 7, 12 and 15 year deals are as outrageous as Donald Trump’s hair. Or Gary Bettman’s coy interviews. Or Gary Bettman rocking ‘the Donald’ hair-cut. I think that’s about the only thing that could make Bettman creepier.
OK – got that out of my system. Onto NHL General Manager’s who’ve apparently lost their mind. Like Philadelphia Flyers GM Paul Holmgren. Yesterday, Holmgren gave Chris Pronger, 34 years old, a 7 year $35 Million contract. Paul, do you know who Chris Pronger is going to remind you of, when he’s 38 with 3 seasons remaining on his contract? Answer: Derrien Hatcher.
To all the GMs out there, I realize your job isn’t easy. So I’ve come up with a few suggestions that may make your job easier and certainly more interesting.
Suggestion 1- No contract can be longer than 5 years long. You never know what can happen – injuries (Rick DiPietro), attitudes (Dany Heatley), karma (Marian Hossa), etc…
Suggestion 2- Speaking of karma, don’t sign Marian Hossa. It’s bad luck.
Suggestion 3- All GM’s must try outwit Brian Burke. Good luck.
Suggestion 4- If your team is looking for additional revenue and want to play an Outdoor Winter Classic, sign Ty Conklin. (He’s played in each game so far)
Suggestion 5- Stop handing out No-Trade-Clauses/No-Movement-Clauses. If every GM agrees to and honors such a stance, trades will be far easier to make and players won’t have you by the balls. And certain bloggers might not look like they make everything up, too.
Suggestion 6- Use express/super important shipping when mailing RFA contracts to key players of your team. Don’t cheap out on shipping costs and risk losing great young players as a result.
Suggestion 7- Sign a bunch of assistant coaches from a division rival after they sign your best player via Unrestricted Free Agency. (Montreal Canadiens/Ottawa Senators)
Stay classy, NHL General Managers.