After a disappointing result in Game 1, the StayClassy team faced a difficult decision – Should they go suit shopping or should they hit up BJ’s (Booster Juice)? Given the manliness of our team, we elected for BJ’s. As Mantooth pointed out in part 1 of this story, Burgundy, Fantana, Mantooth and Scott all got awesome Terminator Smoothies with power boosts. Meanwhile, after unsuccessfully championing for team wheat shots, Ken (a.k.a Corningstone) got a Pomegranate Punch Smoothie. Weak Ken…
Here were some of the topics we discussed during our post game meeting at BJ’s:
- Next year, we’ll definitely have more subs
- The Ron Burgundy School of Driving should be avoided at all costs
- Our team decided to employ a dump ‘n chase strategy for the remainder of the tournament, with the chase part of the strategy being optional
- After sharing a few laughs with another under-manned team (Hicks with Sticks), the team decided to go across the Centrum parking lot to Wal-Mart. We drove there.
- While at Wal-Mart, several critical debates ensued, including one about which kind of Gatorade we should buy (G or G2). Suffice to say, G2 won because its label clearly indicated that it could recharge our electrolytes, whereas G could not. This was critical for our team and especially so for Ken, who would go on to consume a whopping 7 G2’s during the day.
- Burgundy began creating excuses, saying things like, “I think I need a new stick” and “My stick sucks and that’s why I only scored one goal again that Pontiac team”. However, Burgundy did not purchase a new stick prior to game 2.
Game 2 – StayClassy v.s. The Minute Men
Our second game of the day was at noon and the overcast clouds were starting to clear. This wasn’t good news because that meant it was about to get much hotter. We were playing the Minute Men, which upon arrival to the rink, looked like a bunch of wimps. This delighted the StayClassy goonsquad.
With our new Jacques Martin defensive strategy worked out, all that was left was its execution. The game started and StayClassy quickly found themselves in the lead. As it turned out, The Minute Men weren’t very swift because they couldn’t figure out how we’d basically just ice the ball to a cherry-picking forward and score. After the first half, StayClassy were up 6-4, despite being outworked by a younger Minute Men team.
Things were looking good, but our energy was running low. We attributed the lead to our brilliant strategy and to the G2. However, things took a turn for the worse in the second half. As our energy levels dropped, The Minute Men’s increased. Soon, our defensive strategy mutated into an even lazier strategy of standing in front of the net and blocking passes out front. We barely chased them in the corners or behind the net.
Then, the unthinkable happened.
The earlier reference to Jacques Martin was truly appropriate and was very fitting given that we were playing in the ScotiaBank parking lot. Still not following? We choked. Yeah, that’s right, we choked. Our two-goal lead vanished and they scored a number of garbage goals that deflected off of our own team.
Highlights of the game included Scott making some great saves, especially in the second half when the forwards were too tired to do anything. Mantooth had a few good elbows out there and kept us laughing by declaring “News team assemble!” Burgundy and Ken each scored two goals, while Fantana had a hattrick. In fact, on his third goal of the game, he screamed “Hattrick!” to the crowd but nobody appeared to understand what he said. The TSN Turning Point of the game was a 2-on-0 for StayClassy early in the second half that saw Burgundy make a perfect pass to Fantana. Fantana got too cute and was poke-checked by the goaltender… ouch! So to recap, a 2-on-0 didn’t even generate a shot on goal.
The Minute Men won the game 11-9 and Burgundy banged his stick several times. Overall, it was a tight game and The Minute Men weren’t more skilled than StayClassy, with the exception of the guy with the red blade… he wasn’t bad and probably scored 5 or 6 goals on us alone. What a heart-breaker and the loss brought StayClassy’s record to 0-2. We thought this was supposed to be a beginner’s league? What gives?
Stay tuned for the post-game meeting, which would see some dramatic transformations to our strategy, as well as the from game 3.
Your reporter in the field,