That’s right, internet, you read the headline correctly. This weekend, The Channel 4 News team decided to ditch the keyboards and twitter accounts, and do what no news team has done before… lace up the shoes and strap on their shin guards – we played in CBC’s Play On! 4-on-4 Road Hockey Tournament.
Game 1 – StayClassy v.s. Pontiac Lightning
Our first game was at 8:40am and while this was way too early for a Saturday, it wasn’t very hot outside and made for pretty good street hockey conditions. We saw we were playing a team called the Pontiac Lightning, which we all hoped would mimic real life and tank the game. As we strode up to the fenced-in rink, Fantana noted the mean-looking bandanas some of their team was wearing. And I don’t mean the sissy ones that Kelly Hrudey wore, I’m talking real, biker bandanas. Upon reflection, this was probably a sign of things to come. We should’ve stocked up on tridents and brass knuckles for this one.
The games are played with two 15 minute halves and a quick two minute breather in between. We started the game and within a few minutes, several things are apparent:
- StayClassy’s team did not have enough substitutes
- Mantooth took first dibs on the gift bags and took all the good stuff
- StayClassy’s team weren’t in the best of shape
- Pontiac turned out to be a pretty good team (they actually ran – who does that?)
- StayClassy’s electrolytes needed replenishing, badly
- The team’s theme song would be “Afternoon Delight”
It was a pretty tight opening half and we were tied 1-1. At the half, the whole StayClassy team was pretty drained. That two minute half-time break was nowhere near long enough. As a side note, you know it’s a bad sign when all three players on the rink start walking over to the bench for a change, but there’s only one sub… not good. Anyway, the second half got much tougher and a series of broken plays turned into a 5-1 lead for Pontiac.
They ended up winning by a final score of 6-3, but it should be noted that StayClassy had goals scored from Burgundy, Fantana and a guy named Ken (leading candidate to become Corningstone). Also, Mantooth was on the team and played a solid and cheap game. Mantooth blocked a really hard shot and this left an awesome welt on the back of his left thigh. If he busts that out to any ladies, he may very well get some afternoon delight. Our goaltender, Scott, took team MVP honours because in the 2nd half, he made a number of awesome saves, especially since StayClassy’s defence was more like e-ffence – Where’s the D?
A quick team meeting after the game determined several things:
- Not having enough subs was going to be a prevailing theme throughout the weekend
- Fantana has a better vernacular than Burgundy but this Corningstone guy might take the cake
- StayClassy’s electrolytes still needed replenishing, badly
- A visit to BJ’s (Booster Juice) was necessary
- We needed a better strategy
So we ditched our sweaty gear and high-tailed it to BJ’s for some wheat shots and boosts. Stay tuned for the post-game meeting, as well as the action from games 2 and 3.
Your reporter in the field,